( Photo taken out west )
I am not one to let people get “into” my mind – my thoughts – That’s why I am known to most as the “Mystery Women” I’m hard for most to figure me out and
I prefer it that way but for the exceptions of the 2 I let into the depths of “my mind”.
I was only going to post the first part but decided to put the “whole” up.
What is written below is not only for the loved one that passed (12/29/10) over the sunset to be another bright star in the night sky but for My husband in 1994, best friend of 17 years whom is traveling towards the sunset, all The aids, cancer, kidney and psychiatric patients all who passed naturally or by suicide that
I cared for, prepared, tagged and bagged for their resting place. I shed a tear not for the loss of, but for finally being FREE of the pain.
I want to write of memories of All the B’s , The shore, the great times we had throughout my 50 years.
But I am unable to do so , I have always been bad at these things.
I do best to mourn in private and reflect the good times.
Years ago, I asked myself what I would miss most if I woke up tomorrow and I had lost my hearing, my eye sight or touch.
If I lost my hearing I would miss the sound of laughter, the sound of water and running streams, the sound of Jazz and Blues music, the sound of my partner
( if had one ).
If I lost my eyesight, I would miss the faces of my My life partner,family and friends, smiles, and I would miss sunsets.
I love sunsets.
If I lost my touch, I would miss the softness of skin, the feel of wiping wet tears that fall from us all.
Since I worked in the hospitals years ago, I don’t miss many sunsets.
I do my best not to miss many.
They are all very special, just like the people in my life, patients, loved ones, friends, family..
I love the colors, and that magic hour between day and night.
My religious beliefs are different, and I’ll just leave it at that.
I believe in a God, in sunsets and the magic hour. That’s all I’ll say.
That is when I thank God Our Creator for my life, my partner,my family, and my friends.
That is when I talk to those who have touched my life.
I thank them all for being a part of my life and for looking after me.
I thank those few that touch my soul deeply now.
I do believe that they are still here,I believe that after crossing over our spirit stays.
They are the gentle winds that blow us in the right direction in our paths we travel in life and it is up to each of us if we choose to follow that gentle breeze or go a different direction.
You are the Grand Matriarch the glue that binds.
The Pillar that stands strong against the storm.
You have had the hardest job of all.
Sometimes it feels like standing in the middle of a tornado (that you have already warned everyone about, but they don’t listen).
Trying to direct the wind away, and at the same time trying to hold onto all the fools who are being torn away by the wind.
It is a job that is not always appreciated.
I would just like to say thank you, and I love you.
I hope that the days to come find you in the company of your children and grand children.
Especially your grandchildren.
Grandchildren give true meaning to life, and I am sure that one or two of them have character traits that are similar to Uncle H.
It is in your children and grandchildren that you live on forever.
Cherish the moments and make them special.
I hope that some of what is here brings a smile to your face , I am not one for this kind of writing.
I am sorry that I cannot be there.
I will think of all of you at all my sunsets and have a few words with Uncle H.
I love all of you.