Transitioning into a new phase.

Transitioning into a new phase has been hard. I need to give myself more time.
Trust is a tricky topic with me.
Slow down somewhat —  Life gets better, but only if you make a real effort.
Sometimes the secret to finding balance is not taking on too much in the first place.
Think of life as a fast-moving ship. You can’t afford to carry around any dead weight 
if you want to make it to your destination. I wasn’t saying life is dead weight but that New York
is dead weight.
Finding a balance between what you want to be like and who you really are isn’t too difficult if you remain realistic. 
Make personal goals and strive to achieve them. It’s commendable to have a desire to better yourself, 
but never demand perfection, no one is perfect.
A slow start- I will be able to work my way up to a bigger sacrifice down the line.
And –
It’s time to get serious about any New Year’s plans I made — clear out my old baggage and get ready for something new!
I feel my energy is just right for making big decisions.I just know not what they are, 
Trust is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be earned.
If I spend too much time thinking about how to make everything equal and fair between me, family and my friends, 
I will create way too much work for myself.
Life just isn’t fair all the time, as difficult as that may be for us to acknowledge. It’s a messy affair sometimes full of 
selfishness and selflessness.
So I see and look at the big picture. Because Something I notice now will show me how to take that leap.
As long as you think things are generally equitable, there’s no worry. one mustn’t get bogged down in counting nickels 
and dimes.Too many are because of.
As I was reading through my journal of our past year and the 17 years of Bill / Kay’s inter struggles with the 
“Pandoras box – plague” vultures of society,
I was instantly of two minds:
The first: “Forget” you, it is only one’s own experience.
The second: Yes, actually I might be right.
 The third is: All effed up.
Memoirs are becoming more read books than any these days.
The story is the magic the writer creates out of the real events — an alchemy of insight, metaphor and voice that 
lends the events meaning. 
Every work of literature has both a situation and a story. The situation is the context of circumstance, sometimes 
the plot; the story is ” the emotional experience that preoccupies the writer: the insight, the wisdom, the thing one
has come to say.”
At the end of ours it will say ….
“I Am Your Lady Always,
I love you
It’s not the events that one should count on to spin these story into something of VALUE.
It’s the transformation of self that occurs within the story.
– My Transformation In Our’s : I Love You, I Love You.
– Transformation In Bill’s/ Kay’s ? I haven’t figtured that one out yet ( because it has not to do with gender change but I think more so with the last year from 12/23/10 till passing. Yes, I’d explain it to you but it in itself would be 200 pages of an email.
I’m still putting that in context myself – being honest with you.
I think writing is my pub / drink though know not if it is 2nd to fiber ( spinning and weaving ) or first ……
But there is only one letter that is used that is negitive :
F – is for failure,
F – is for flawed,
F – is for “All Effed Up” – for those to whom are lost.
Re: Bill / Kay ?
I’m feeling freer than I have in a long time — who knew that this one person could be responsible for so much stress?
I have always kept the book ” Anglela’s Ashes by Frank Mc Court ” in my mind, I always told Bill / Kay 
That if I out lived him / her I would write his / her story.
It was always told to me for 17 years I would out live him and then her.
It is sad that some people have to pass before they can be heard.

About mountiangirl

" Remembering the Past, celebrating the Present and believing in the Future. ∞ The scribbled notes,poems,poetry of our lives." I am a FREE SPIRIT, Mostly known as Mombo " The Mystery Woman " and a rare few call me " Mountian Girl " which they say is an honor and royality. Jerry Garcia - The Greatful Dead - I am a Fiber Artist - Spinning, Weaving and knitting. I am shy and speak little - this is where my PC talks for me. I love music but not rap. But my true love's are humor, old letters,poetry and history of all things forgotten. But also so that the younger generation can read of it too ( gain knowledge ) be it never known or just forgot. There is so much even I don't remember at my ripe young age of 51.
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