You might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here’s the
TRUE story (and no, Al Gore was not involved).
In ancient Israel,came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take
unto himself a young wife with the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, strong, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham: “Why, my husband, dost thou travel so far from town
to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”
And Abraham did gaze upon her – as though she were a saddle bag or two short of
a camel load, but simply said: “How, dear wife, can this be done?”
And Dot sayeth: “I will place drums in all the towns and oases, and drums in
between, to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply
telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
And Abraham pondered long and it came to pass that he decided that he would let
Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate
success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having
to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring traders from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot
devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send
Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and
pictures called Hebrew to The People(HTTP)
And verily, certain young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy
horsefly to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican
Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening
sound of drums, that no one noticed that an enterprising drum dealer, William of
the Gates, was buying off every drum maker in the land. And indeed it came to
pass that William of the Gates did insist that thenceforth, that all the drums
made would work only with his drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot lamented: “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others and our profits have become paltry.”
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBayas it was known, and
said: “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied: “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO,” shouted
Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid
(GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things and people
and information and gossip around the countryside. He called it God’s Own
Official Guide to Locating Everything. And it came to pass that he the
shortened it to GOOGLE.
And that, my friends, is how it all began.